The semester is coming to end which makes me happy. But I am writing my last post today which makes me sad. For me, this blog has been a real journey towards inspiration; I learned a lot and experienced a lot for the last 4 months. And I want to tell you all that happened, so I just don`t know how to start.
I guess I will begin with the things that frustrated me the most while working on “What inspires people?” After all, what I find most valuable about my Multimedia Journalism class, which is the reason for the birth of my blog, is not that I had the opportunity to do what I like but the fact that I also had to do things I was not very fond of. As they say, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
In my post “What have I learned so far,” I already explained how approaching people for interviews made me feel:
“I was completely inexperienced. And what is even worse, I was really shy and uncomfortable doing it.”
Shooting videos was also a new experience, and turned out to be something that does not come naturally to me. Also, editing those videos was taking me much more time than it should since it did not prove to be one of my talents either. And just when I learned how to talk to interviewees, when I started to enjoy shooting and when I became better in editing, I had to face a brand new challenge. I had to become an actress for a class video. And while I learned that I will never get an Oscar, I also understood that acting is not scary but a lot of fun.
Although I had a few difficulties and concerns connected to my blog, the high points were ten times more. I had the opportunity to embrace my love for writing. I have always enjoyed this activity, but before it was a hard and slow process for me. However, I noticed that with each new post I was starting to write faster and more freely.
Also, I met a lot of people on my journey: people I only vaguely knew, and people I have never met before; people with different professions, people of different ages, and people with different dreams and experiences. But each of them enriched me both emotionally and intellectually. If it was not for my blog, I would have been passing them by indifferently on the streets of Blagoevgrad unaware of their rich inner world, never getting to learn their interesting stories.
Moreover, I was not hearing these stories only for myself. I was able to share them with the world. Yes, the thought that people from 6 different continents are checking my blog was exciting to me, the idea that someone across the globe has read my post made me feel special. But I was not taking this seriously until one particular happening.
A few days after I wrote my story “An Everyday Hero,” where I told about Doctor Tatyana Spasova, a remarkable person who takes care of children with disabilities, a woman from USA connected me on my e-mail. She wanted to know how she can come to Bulgaria and adopt one of these babies. At this moment I realized that what I am doing matters. For the first time I felt with an absolute certainty that I want to become a journalist.
Now that I weighted the pros and cons of having a blog, it`s time to ask myself whether I fulfilled the objectives that I set to myself at the beginning of “What Inspires People?”
What were the main purposes of my blog? First of course, to answer the question “What inspires people?” I found out that inspiration is different to everyone. So I decided to collect one bit of inspiration every week. In my first post, “A Free(lance) Artist,” I stated:
“I am going to gather the little pieces that compose inspiration and gradually assemble this great engine of human spirit.”
Going through all of my previous posts, I am surprised to find out how easy and naturally this process went on. The journey began with freedom. In my first post I realized that:
“Anyone who wants can be good at being free. And this is where inspiration starts.”
And indeed, I believe that the first necessary condition for a person to be inspired is to be able to freely express oneself. Inspiration exists only for individualists, for people who love and understand themselves.
The second week I suddenly had serious doubts about the topic I picked for my blog:
“Lately I was thinking that my blog, having the topic “What inspires people” can get too sugary and unrealistic. After all, many people find inspiration a luxury. They are sick, or very poor, or have another big problem in their lives that absorbs them and leaves no place for inspiration.”
And then I met a street musician, who did not have money to travel back home, whose wife was hospitalized and whose child was sleeping in the guitar case. Still, the man was playing the most beautiful music I have ever heard. This week, I learned that inspiration can survive in hard moments, as long as you have strength.
On the third week, I encountered Yanka Mihovska, a Bulgarian child poet. I learned something valuable from her as well:
“Inspiration is this uncaused joy which we think is only natural to kids. But the 70 year old woman made me doubt this popular opinion. Maybe inspiration is not a feeling we should expect from time to time. Maybe it is our long-lost but waiting to be rediscovered natural state of mind.”
My journey towards inspiration continued with meeting a very interesting person. Georgi Popov was born in a moment, when the political situation in his country was terribly violating the rights of freedom. However, he managed to escape this reality and make his dreams come true. He taught me that sometimes inspiration is all about courage.
On the fifth week, I met a professor in the department of arts. Georgi Drachev, a professionally accomplished but at the same time unpretentious person, made me believe that another part of inspiration is harmony.
My journey towards inspiration undoubtedly had its emotional peak when I went to a Home for Children deprived from parental care. Visiting institutions like this one has always been a hard experience for me. This time it was even more moving because of the conversation I had with one of the doctors there. From Tatyana Spasova I learned that one of the pieces that compose inspiration is Love:
“Love in all its forms. Love as a professional duty, as tenderness, as warmness that you can give to someone who needs it. Love as in being the right person at the right place, even for one individual in your life.”
Still, I regard my seventh post as my biggest success. I found the number of Yana Georgieva, who is the President of the Bulgarian Association of Cancer Patients, who won the prize “The Benefactor of Bulgaria” and who became “Volunteer of 2011” for the whole European Union. I did not expect her to give me an interview but I had to try. Surprisingly, she agreed to take a few minutes of her time for me. Yana was a cancer victim herself, but chose to dedicate her life to others suffering from the disease. Talking to her, I learned that inspiration is about faith:
“You can be inspired even when something terrible happens to you as long as you believe that you are strong and loved, and that good can defeat evil. Then, you become powerful enough to help others. It turns out that inspiration is not a luxury or a myth created by the poetic minds. Inspiration is real. Inspiration is necessary. Inspiration can save lives.”
And while in my first post I learned that inspiration is for bright and independent individuals, in my last post I also understood that after all inspiration is also about socializing and sharing:
“With the help of Ilko Drenkov, I enriched my collection of inspirational pieces with another one- kindness. Up to now, I have considered inspiration a very intimate and private emotion. Now, I believe that inspiration is cumulative; that it is born in our minds but should not stay only there; that if you share your smile, your poem or your thought with someone else, your inspiration is not lost, but doubled.”
The other main purpose of my blog was defining inspiration for myself. In the about section of “What Inspires People” I said:
“Every week I will interview an interesting person and ask him or her the question: “What inspires you?” My personal goal with this blog is to ask myself the same question at the end of the semester and to finally have an answer.”
Although I experienced and learned a lot since the first day I started blogging, I have to admit that I don`t have a definite answer to the question. Today should be the stopping point of my journey and I can`t choose one particular activity or feeling that best defines inspiration for me. I realized that inspiration is in the dramatic moments of our lives, but in the small details as well; that inspiration is the driving force for poor and for rich, for young and for old, for healthy and for sick; Today I realized that inspiration is not a destination but the journey itself. And to stop blogging for me would mean to stop my journey towards inspiration. I may take a short break, I may start a new and different blog but I will not stop. Actually, if one day someone asks me “What inspires you?” maybe I will answer: “Writing a blog.”
Take a look at me illustrating my blogging experience:
So here I am, going through the stories and the pictures of my previous posts and wondering. Now that I am halfway through my journey towards inspiration, what have I learned? For sure I learned a lot.
First of all, I learned a lot about other people. At the beginning it was hard for me to find someone to interview. I was angrily thinking that there is no one appropriate. At one point, I started to look at everybody as a possible interviewee rather than as a human being and thought how crazy and rude this was. But suddenly, I realized that it is actually neither crazy nor rude. It hit me that anyone is indeed appropriate to become a part of my blog. Because every single person is inspiring. Everybody has a story. Everyone can tell you something valuable, can teach you, and can affect you. You just have to be there to hear the person, to record and then pass his or her words to the readers.
And here comes the second thing I learned. I learned a lot about the details behind being a journalist. I am so into writing; I can write for days and still be pleased doing it. But when it comes to finding people to interview and actually to go to their places and talk to them, I was completely inexperienced. And what is even worse, I was really shy and uncomfortable doing it. Now, I am not. I am actually truly happy to meet these people and have interesting conversations with them. And transforming these conversations into blog posts has already become my hobby.
But still, not everything was perfect. When I started studying Journalism in the American University in Bulgaria, and later, when I went to an Internship in the Bulgarian National Television, I had a realization that was like throwing cold water on me. Journalists don`t just record and write. They search for stories, call, appoint, sometimes even shoot or tell the cameraman what to do, upload, edit, and finally, hope to have their reportage approved. I really doubted whether all this is for me. Before my Multimedia class, I barely knew what WordPress is all about, have never heard of Souncloud, have never used a twitter account or a Facebook page, and had no idea how to edit audio or shoot and edit video. Right now, although I still have a lot to learn, I know the basics of “Audacity,” and of “Adobe Premiere,”and have shot and edited all by myself. I am one step closer to becoming a journalist.
Still, of all the things I learned, what I find most valuable is the way talking to inspiring people enriched my knowledge and excited me. But I think it`s time I became more specific. Who are actually these people I mention so many times? These are my heroes from Blagoevgrad, Bulgaria: Lyubomir Kanelov, a promising young freelance artist who mastered the computer technologies; Dimcho Paskov, a street musician who was playing for days, earning just few levs, and who actually turned out to be a professional virtuoso; Yanka Mihovska, a light-hearted old lady who reached kids` hearths with her beautiful poems and riddles; Georgi Popov, the highly educated man who never gave up his dreams; Georgi Drachev, the Dean, Professor, artist, collector, and in his own words, student of nature and life; Doctor Tatyana Spasova, the admirable woman who takes care of and gives love to abandoned or sick children.
Let`s sum it up. With my first post, I promised you that at the end of each story, I will tell you one piece of inspiration that I learned for the week. Meeting Lyubomir taught me that inspiration is about:
“Freedom. Freedom to use your strength. Freedom to do what makes you happy. Anyone who wants can be good at being free. And this is where inspiration starts.”
And actually this is where my blog about inspiration started. I met Dimcho and realized:
“…that inspiration is not about feeling as happy and light as if you are two meters above the ground. It is not about being appreciated and successful. It is only about being strong.”
Yanka also helped me find a piece of inspiration:
“It is this uncaused joy which we think is only natural to kids. But the 70 year old woman made me doubt this popular opinion. Maybe inspiration is not a feeling we should expect from time to time. Maybe it is our long-lost but waiting to be rediscovered natural state of mind.”
Later, Georgi Popov taught me, that another part of inspiration is courage.
“Because one can`t choose when or under which circumstances to be born. But he can choose to be brave. Then, even if not exactly as imagined, dreams come true.”
The lesson I got out of my talk with Georgi Drachev was, that:
“..to a big extend, inspiration is about harmony: harmony with oneself and with the surrounding world.“
My emotional meeting with Tatyana Spasova made me believe that:
“…love is one of the most powerful sources of inspiration;that it is a source of inspiration which helps you overcome your pain, surpass your possibilities, give more than you have and become greater than you ever thought you could be.”
So far this is what I`ve learned. And what I`ve learned has inspired me to search for more. If you also wonder what the next pieces of inspiration will be, stay with my blog. Let`s make the picture whole together!
Take a look at me on my journey towards inspiration:
The poet at the age of 45
A tiny old lady is sitting in front of me. Her face is wrinkled, her hands are shaking, but her voice is lively and her eyes are shining. This is Yanka Mihovska- she is a well-known Blagoevgrad poet. Her poems and riddles are out in “World of Literature”, (The biggest Bulgarian literature magazine.) The reason why I wanted to talk exactly to her was simple-she is writing for kids. I always wondered what kind of person one should be to create child poetry. How can a grownup be able to see the world through the eyes of a child? And how can she or he transform this vision into simple and humble art? I decided that my blog was the right chance for me to find out.
Yanka was born 70 years ago, in a little village near Blagoevgrad. She was supposed to stay there for the rest of her life but she wanted something else:
“I graduated from an elementary school in Brezhani and I didn’t want to become a shepherd, I wanted to study more.”
There was no high school in Brezhani so her parents finally agreed to send her to Blagoevgrad. There, Yanka could find some books. She got fascinated with the world of literature and started writing herself. At first she wrote for adults but soon her children`s art prevailed. “Why?” I asked.
“Because I’m impressed by the simplest things. I walk along the road and see a little snowdrop. It is December, -15C and the flower is blooming… I am thinking: “OH, God, it is so small and gentle and so strong and the same time,” so I wrote a poem for it. Or when I was a kid, in Pirin Mountain. They have sent me to gather water in the evening and I felt like I am not on the Earth but I am in a different universe, there were so many stars, I could see the Milky Way. And I just liked one little star and wrote a poem for it.
Tell me, how should I see things- the way I studied them in a Physics class, or in a somehow childlike way- I choose the childlike way.”
It looks like the first required factor for a person to become a good child` s author is to be constantly curious and amazed with the world. Observing Yanka`s personality, I could add another factor: modesty. She did not want to talk about herself; she was only remembering the beautiful moments and views of her life and was citing her poems to me. She was even accidentally talking in rhymes form time to time.
There was something striking for me when I talked to her. We have all had conversations with people whose art we like. We listen to their music or read their books, and we think to ourselves that they are extraordinary, that they are above everything material and boring. But if we have the chance to meet them, usually we are a little bit disappointed. We find out that they are like everybody else, having the same doubts and problems. It was not like this with Yanka. She was excited and even jumpy. Her words and actions were perfectly matching with her art. I wanted to know what kept her inspired. Here is what she said:
“Look, a person should read a lot; I think that with reading a lot I gained the biggest richness. Although there is another thing- my inner agitation, there are moments when I can’t stop it; the poem comes as if not from you but despite you. Every night, under my pillow I have a pencil and a paper; or, when I travel by bus I write on tickets; or when I was on the field I wrote with a wire on a shovel`s grip. I have to write my poem down or I can`t find my peace, even though I remember the poem the moment I create it.”
It seems that Yanka does not need a reason to be inspired. She is just a grown-up child, a real and pure person. A rare phenomenon in today`s world.
The moment my interview was over, I knew that I found the piece of inspiration for this week. It is this uncaused joy which we think is only natural to kids. But the 70 year old woman made me doubt this popular opinion. Maybe inspiration is not a feeling we should expect from time to time. Maybe it is our long-lost but waiting to be rediscovered natural state of mind.
Below, you can see a picture of Yanka when she was 45 years old and some of her books:
Here`s Yanka interview in Bulgarian:
And here`s me translating the interview:
What Inspires People? 